Bridging The Gap Between Self-Concept (Have) And Ideal Self-Concept (Want)

Abstract

So many clients are confused about what they "have" and what they "want" and most of the times they feel a gap between "what they are" and "what they really want to be". According to Rogers: clients come to the counselor in a state of incongruous; that is, a discrepancy exists between their self-perception and their experience in reality. And this discrepancy between “how he sees himself” (self-concept) or “how he would like to view himself” (ideal self-concept) may result in anxiety and personal vulnerability which can provide the necessary motivation to enter therapy. And now the main concentration of this paper is on this fundamental and primary question: "How can we bring this have and want more closely together and diminish this gap between them?!" And the suggested solution to this question is that we define a triangular for every occurrence and fact in which the sides are: "Being" defining the beliefs, "Doing" defining the actions and "Have" defining the achievements and results. And then we employ the two theories: - Cognitive Behavior therapy (REBT) to change belief and being (Be), - Reality therapy (WDEP) to change the direction and doing (Do). So it is obvious that a change in results (Have) is directly related to the alteration of one the elements "Be" or "Do" or both of them. Key Words: Self-concept, Ideal self-concept, A-B-C theory of personality, Choice theory, Irrational Emotive Behaviour therapy, Reality therapy.